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Really Funny One Liners
About Marriage

We hope you enjoy these funny one liners about marriage, love, and the humorous differences between men and women.

  • Love is blind - marriage is the eye opener.

  • Keep your eyes wide open before marriage and half shut afterward.

  • Some marry for beauty - others for booty.

  • Some say singleness is bliss and marriage is a blister.

The Marriage of Heaven and Hell

The Marriage of Heaven and Hell; Title-Page, 1790-93
The Marriage of Heaven and Hell; Title-Page, 1790-93

Giclee Print
Blake, William
Buy at AllPosters.com


More funny one liners about marriage:
  • Why do brides buy their wedding gowns and grooms rent their wedding suits?

  • I always have the last word with my wife, even if I have to go into another room to say it.

  • In the area of love, an engagement is an urge on the verge to merge.

  • In the word wedding, the we comes before the I.

  • Don't marry for money - you can borrow it cheaper.

  • Sometimes absence makes the heart wander.

  • A woman likes a strong silent man because she thinks he is listening.

  • In some marriages most troubles are relative.

  • Marriage is like a violin. After the beautiful music is over, the strings are still attached.

  • A successful marriage is built on trust - and an occasional compliment.

  • When a man marries a woman, they become one - the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

  • When a wife runs her fingers through her husband's hair, he should be careful - she may be after his scalp.


Love is Give and Take

Love is Give and Take
Love is Give and Take

Limited Edition
Huneck, Stephen
Buy at AllPosters.com


More funny one liners about marriage:
  • Marriages are made in heaven, but so are thunder and lightning.

  • Something every couple should save for their old age - their marriage.

  • Marriage is an investment that pays dividends, if you pay interest.

  • The world's greatest bargain - a happy marriage.

  • To have a successful marriage - whenever you are wrong, admit it; when you are right, keep your mouth shut.

  • Some women marry for money, then divorce for love.

  • A wedding ring is the smallest handcuff in the world.

  • One thing about early marriages is they shorten the generation gap.

  • A good marriage is like a casserole- only those responsible for it really know what goes into it.

  • Too many marry for better or for worse, but not for good.

  • A happy marriage is when a couple is as deeply in love as they are in debt.

  • A successful marriage is the result of falling in love often - with the same person.


Of Course I Love You

Of Course I Love You
Of Course I Love You

Masterprint
Nap, Dug
Buy at AllPosters.com


More funny one liners about marriage:
  • Some husbands lay down the law and then accept their wife's amendments.

  • Strange, but it seems to be true: charm is a woman's strength, while strength is a man's charm.

  • Marriage is mutual partnership if both parties know when to be mute.

  • Marriages are educational - there's no surer way of learning about your faults.

  • Marriages are like diets - they are ruined by having a little dish on the side.

  • Marriage is great - no family should be without it.

  • Most matrimonial problems are caused by the marriage of two people who are in love with themselves.

  • Of all remedies, a good wife is the best.

  • Marriage can be the bloom or blight of happiness.

  • Marriage is either a holy wedlock or an unholy deadlock.

  • Marriage would work our better if the couple operated on a thrifty-thrifty basis.

  • Love at first sight never happens before breakfast.


Funny Wedding Bloopers



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More Short Funny Quotes and One Liners

From Funny One Liners About Marriage to Sage Quotations Home Page


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