Funny Age Quotations:

Humorous Quotes and One-Liners

A humorous collection of age quotations and one-liners to raise your spirits and make you feel happy at any age.

You're Not Old

Magnet
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Of all the things I miss, the thing I miss the most is my mind.

My health is good; it's my age that's bad.

The age of some women is like the speedometer on a used car - you know it's set back, but you don't know how far.

Wisdom doesn't automatically come with old age. Nothing does - except wrinkles. It's true, some wines improve with age. But only if the grapes were good in the first place.

The really frightening thing about middle age is the knowledge that you'll grow out of it.

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

The secret to longevity is to keep breathing.

Age is mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.

I stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.

Act Your Age

Magnet
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One-Liners about Age

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• Middle age is that difficult time between adolescence and retirement when you have to take care of yourself.


• The young sow wild oats - the old grow sage.


• When you are young you want to change the world - when you are old you want to change the young.


• Age doesn't matter unless you are cheese.


• The paradox of age - the young want to be old, and the old want to be young.


• Old age is like everything else. To be a success, you've got to start young.


• People are funny - everyone wants to live a long life, but no one wants to get old.


• Middle age is when the narrow waist and the broad mind begin to change places.


• You cannot take credit for beauty at sixteen, but if you are beautiful when sixty, it will be your soul's doing.


• The persons most difficult to convince that they're at retirement age are children at bedtime.


• Most folks like the old days better - they were younger then.


• An excellent way to grow old is to stay young.

It's Not That I'm Old

Magnet
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